i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
