so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
