: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
