Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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