It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
