I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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