So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
