please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
