She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
