I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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