i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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