Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
