So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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