Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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