Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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