Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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