I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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