in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
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I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
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We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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