I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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