Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The uberlube is also flammable
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
