my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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