can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
