We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
