she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
