When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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