I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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