Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
its liver damage thursday
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
