those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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