He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
