He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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