Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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