We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
