I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
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