we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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