4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
