why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
