she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
