Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
