All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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