Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Acid is not a monday night drug
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
