I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
