sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
