dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
