Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
