walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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