He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
