So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
