You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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