He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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