Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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