...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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