He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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