I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
