Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
